I've been thinking more and more about a shooting tunnel. I sure would like to have one, but the one I want is a little expensive. So, I decided that maybe what I need is a government bailout. You know, let the rest of you working, tax-paying guys help pay for my ultimate toy.

Now, I know Obama won't just hand over the cash, after all I'm not GM. So, what to do? Well, I just went and purchased me five acres and called it a mini-farm. Threw a couple of old Jersey's on it for...